Time, our finite resource. How do you manage it?

There are three comedians throughout my life that have made me laugh to the point of tears. Brian Regan, Mitch Hedberg, and Nate Bargatze. Primarily I really enjoy their dry humor and quick wit.

“I can’t tell you what hotel I’m stayin’ in, but there are 2 trees involved. They said “Let’s call this hotel ‘Something Tree’”. So they had a meeting, it was… It was quite short. “How ’bout ‘Tree’?” “No.” “‘Double Tree’?” “Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!” “I had my heart set on ‘Quadruple Tree’” “Well, we were almost there!

-Mitch Hedberg

I’m laughing just reading that one again.

Here’s one he wrote on escalators I’ve had come to mind many times over the years:

I digress.

The whole point in that setup is this one joke Mitch wrote about time:

One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is of you when you were younger.

-Mitch Hedberg

Time is an interesting thing.

It’s constantly moving, you can’t get it back, and it can easily be wasted. Everything worth doing takes it and, arguably, the time you spend on something tends to never be enough.

At work, a colleague of mine likes to say “How much is enough?” Time with family, time to complete your work, time alone… and the answer is always “More”.

Sometimes we wish we could be like Joshua and have the sun stand still for a bit. Cherish a moment, a little bit more time enjoying something, another visit with Granny to have cornbread and pinto beans even though you already told her you already ate.

¹² At that time Joshua spoke to the Lord in the day when the Lord gave the Amorites over to the sons of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel,

“Sun, stand still at Gibeon,
    and moon, in the Valley of Aijalon.”
¹³ And the sun stood still, and the moon stopped,
    until the nation took vengeance on their enemies.

Is this not written in the Book of Jashar? The sun stopped in the midst of heaven and did not hurry to set for about a whole day. ¹⁴ There has been no day like it before or since, when the Lord heeded the voice of a man, for the Lord fought for Israel.

For those who may enjoy a musical… we only have 🎶525,600 🎶minutes each year…

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure
Measure a year?

In daylights?
In sunsets?
In midnights?
In cups of coffee?
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife?

You’re welcome.

How should I spend the time I have?

As a husband, father, friend, and business professional, I can’t spend all my time on one thing.

On any given day, we have to answer “How should I spend the time I have?”

Do I…

• linger at home in the morning because my kiddos need me?
• intentionally walk through the office to meet some new people?
• finish the task I didn’t get done on Friday?
• call my mom or dad because I haven’t talked to them in a bit? (<- my mom’s voice just came on in my head with her sarcastically saying “Yes, absolutely.” Love you mom.)
• start on that bible study I’ve been wanting to read?
• coordinate a babysitter so Rachel and I can have a date night?
• reach out to landscaping companies for that fall project?
• text a few buddies to go hang out?
• stay up late and watch Lawless… for the 12th time… because it’s an awesome movie.
• …

Should I sort all the above based on a stack ranked list of priorities?

I’ve told you all before that growing up my dad had distilled priorities down for me:

1. God
2. Family
3. School
4. Work
5. Friends

That got me through the first probably 25 years of life.

Then I started to feel this tension in that ordering. I started to realize that God could take up all my time but is that what He’d want? My family too could take up all my time. Work is infinite and I could go in at 7am and home at 7pm with no issue… Friends too could take up most evenings and weekends with various things.

If I strictly followed that stack rank, I’d rarely, if ever, get past the top few items.

As I journeyed through that conundrum for a few years, a friend of mine said it should be more like a circle. God remains first and is really the outer circle that everything should be encompassed by.

Something like this:

The ongoing and constant question is “Where do I need to spend my time right now?“

What Would Jesus Do? #WWJD

³⁵ And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.

Mark 1:35 ESV

Jesus intentionally went off by himself and prayed on various occasions.

So, I tuck that away under the “prioritize time with God” bucket… my thinking is that doing that ensures that all the other items get into appropriate alignment. I think there is something to the “very early in the morning” aspect there too. First thing Jesus did that day.

He then sometimes took his three closest with him on a few occasions

³⁶ Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” ³⁷ And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. ³⁸ Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” 

Matthew 26:36-38

What lingers with me on this verse is that he intentionally had 3 closer disciples that he spent more time with. In the broader context there, Jesus was transparent with them “I go over there and pray” and “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death“. It wasn’t a shallow friendship; it wasn’t Jesus grabbing a drink with buddies and talking about football… it reads to me as if there is an inherent depth to that inner circle where Jesus trusted them in His depth of emotion.

Who are the few people that you have that you intentionally lean on for depth, friendship, candor, discussion, growth?

What about family?

²¹ And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. ²² Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.

Matthew 4:21-22

 ²¹ Another of the disciples said to him, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” ²² And Jesus said to him, “Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead.”

Matthew 8:21-22

⁴⁶ As Jesus was speaking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. ⁴⁷ Someone told Jesus, “Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, and they want to speak to you.”

⁴⁸ Jesus asked, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” ⁴⁹ Then he pointed to his disciples and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. ⁵⁰ Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!”

Matthew 12:46-50

Man… those verses could make your mind run some couldn’t they?

I absolutely love my atomic family as well as both Rachel and my extended families. Jesus loved his momma as do I 🙂

To me, these verses are interesting and bring to question “Are they the ones who need saving?” or “Are they the ones I need to spend every available minute with?“

Can you start to see the tension I feel when I think about stack ranking priorities?

• Do I need time with God first?
• Do I need to focus on my physical family or my spiritual family?
• Do I need to invest in deeper friendships?

Back to “What’s most important?”

With all this in mind, here are some things I personally found working at the moment.

I have found that working on and having an ongoing prayer life is what I’ve increasingly been relying on to help me navigate where to spend my time.

1. Most every weekday I try to get up early, get my coffee ready, do a study, and then dive into writing
2. Sometimes I’ll try to have worship time to/from work.
3. Rachel and I try to keep each other in the loop about our broader friendships, colleagues and ongoing nuances of conversation, upcoming events, or life situations so that we both have a running understanding
4. Tactically we have a shared Family Calendar that we try to keep up to date and have the rule of “whichever is put on there first” (e.g. Yes be Yes, No be No)
5. I try to keep a task list in Google Keep that has ongoing prayers and thoughts in it that I can revisit every so often.
6. Also I try to not leave Jesus at the doorstep… I try to embrace the concept of ‘prayer without ceasing’ – a constant and ongoing dialogue with God. Before meetings, during meetings, while driving. Just a constant dialogue of prayer, questions, thankfulness, ideas.

Have to love Alan Jackson. Oldie but a goodie

Always trying to listen

Those habits, or disciplines if you will, draw me toward listening better to that still small voice in my heart that is telling me:

• “Call your friend and check on them”
• “Make sure to spend a little more time with your daughter today”
• “Schedule that date night with your bride”
• “Go across the office and chat with that new person”
• “Go to that Men’s breakfast this Saturday”
• “Commit to helping on Sunday’s this fall”
• “Wake up each morning at 6, before the sun, and write”
• “Push on this specific topic in your next business meeting”
• “Give that person some space & grace right now”
• “Find time each week to spend with one of your kiddos 1v1”
• “Get away by yourself over the next month so reflect, plan, and decompress”
• “I know you don’t want to, but you should push on this topic or ask that question”

Skating ahead a little bit… to do any of the above requires capacity or maybe a better term is margin.

It requires you to not book out your days completely, to build in space in the morning, between meetings, at lunch, in the evenings.

To be intentional in managing the time you are given. To turn off your phone, TV, or whatever things tend to take up most of your capacity.

I’d love to know your thoughts or tactics on this topic if you have any. How do you think about this topic? Any tips that you have in this ongoing balancing of priorities?

-Matt