If I’m honest, which I always aim to be, the title of this one triggers me. I’m not comfortable with it. That said, given my discomfort with it – I figured I’d share with you all as we head full steam into November & December holiday seasons.
“Houses should be messy”
When you’re in the throes of marriage, work, raising kids, sports, studies… – sometimes you need to give yourself a break on the tidiness of your home.
I’m not talking gross, dirty, unkempt, hoarder.
I’m talking not fully put together.
Like you actually live in the house 🙂
Toys should be randomly dispersed. Some rooms you should trip over things every so often. The blanket on the couch should be missing because it was left in another room.
You know… they need a new “Where’s Waldo” version for parents called “Where’s my coffee cup?”. It’s pictures of real living rooms with multiple coffee cups hidden in plain sight. Maybe a diaper or two rolled up somewhere in the floor too.
Instead of constantly thinking of the infinite number of things to clean, organize, or “put back up”. I’m trying to see a mess more as “life is happening“.
Yes, we teach our kids to clean up after themselves, to vacuum the floor, to wipe down the table. But! You don’t need a spotless house at the end of every day.
“Meals should be loud”
As I’ve mentioned previously, we try to have meals around the kitchen table most every evening. Sometimes it’s an unspoken race to see who can eat the food the fastest while then asking to be excused to go back to whatever we were doing before.
However, sometimes it’s a chaotic joy (or so I try to convince myself) that makes you want to just linger a little longer.
I’m increasingly believing that there is a difference in “eating” vs. “having a meal”.
Yes, a meal involves food, but… there is more to it than just partaking in caloric intake. It’s also the conversation, the company, the humor, the stories, the updates, the spills.
Here’s a snapshot of our current reality at dinner:
- My youngest daughter has recently learned how to ask for things using “yes” (sounds more like “yay-sh”) or “no” (more like a British elongated “no” that’s kind of like Mrs. Doubtfire’s “Hellooo”) while she points at things.
- My younger son has continued his joy of telling “Dad jokes” where they make no sense and often result in the answer be something related to a Banana.
- My two oldest like to recap their days and then end up having their own side conversations where they argue nuance and detail.
- My wife and I often are either dishing out food, getting milk, finding the ketchup, or trying to pay attention to whoever is trying to get our attention
Of course, we’re still aimed at teaching our kids manners, having them eat new & healthy foods, and to clean-up after themselves. However, I’m also learning more and more each day that you should linger at meals, and that it’s ok if it gets loud.
As we head into the holidays, let’s try to…
- convince ourselves to not stress about the house being a mess
- linger a little longer at meals
- enjoy more moments together
-Matt
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